How Miss Monroes Set Me Free
Designing Miss Monroes not only saved my thighs, they actually saved me too. They helped me find my way from body hate to acceptance and find my self confidence!
I was so stuck in my head of constant anxiety and pain about how ugly and fat I looked to everyone and how judged I felt when people looked at me.
I was trapped by my own thoughts of self hate. I worked hard to break this cycle and tried so many methods. I looked for the quick fixes and of course tried every diet and exercise trend to be thin so I could be happy! None of this worked long term. Finally I looked within. Yes, as frustrating as that sounds, it was the answer for me. I discovered, I needed to look at WHY I felt so much hate for my body, and It was pointed out that perhaps "I" was being the harshest judge of all. It meant looking at what created the hate.
The hate for my shape and size started with being teased, and being held to impossible standards brought on by what the latest teenage magazine had dubbed as beautiful - these expectations were then held up by the girls at school, who would only let you in their 'group' if you were a certain weight and boys would only go out with you if you had a certain thigh circumference and parents that didn't want to have an overweight kid they could be judged for.
It took courage, but, looking at all these reasons and reading about others who had gone through similar situations, I could see that all these years later, I was still blaming the girls at school, those silly boys and my parents. I realised I had given my power away to others. So little by little I learnt to take my power back.
I started to be kinder to my body. I spoke to the parts I hated the most, finding positives about each part. Even if it was as simple as praising the smoothness of my skin or the power of my legs that made my dancing so graceful or the femininity of my soft rounded belly. The kinder I was, the easier it became to believe it. I also worked with a very specific Kinesiologist to help me heal the deeper traumas and learnt that the key to my healing was never giving up on myself.
I then learnt everything I could about dressing for my shape as it was! (not after I "lost weight"), but right now. This changed everything! Wearing dresses that suited and flattered my current curvy shape made me feel beautiful for the first time! Practising kindness towards my body and dressing my body so I felt beautiful, made me feel special, which made it easier to love my body.
There's so much more to this story, which I will reveal in future posts, but for today... designing Miss Monroes for myself was so I could make my thighs feel more beautiful under my dresses whilst preventing thigh chafe.
After a while, I realised I'd gone several weeks without the anxiety and pain of being trapped in my head of body hate thoughts and feeling judged by others! I was FREE! I didn't spend every moment worrying about what others thought of my body and giving away my power. Instead I felt like empowering myself and others to feel free and learn body kindness. So now my thighs are repaying me for my kindness to them. I am so grateful to my body. It is unique, it's beautiful and it's mine.
Loving yourself (by being you, flawesome as you are) sets you free.
You don't need to BE anything or DO anything to love yourself, just accept yourself as you are, Right. Now! (even if you accept your pinky finger for being so pinky - that's a start).
If you are suffering from body hate and want to know more about how I helped myself out of that space, I'd love to hear from you.
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